true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
