mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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