My brain says no but my pants say off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
