Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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