Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
handjob tips. give me some.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
