i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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