It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
