you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
