Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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