it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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