i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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