Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
