whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
