I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
