they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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