i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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