no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
