This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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