Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
