last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
