if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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