this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
