I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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