I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is the high leading the old right now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize