Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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