And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
