I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
