he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
