wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
