is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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