You made me cry and you don't even care
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
