And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
