the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
