Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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