Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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