Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
