So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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