I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
