i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
