i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The Olympian is in my bed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
