Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
false alarm, still single
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
