I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
