You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
