Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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