Got a toothbrush?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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