i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
