I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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