well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
