Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
