I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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