i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
